Will SNL really be live that night--or on a delay? Indecency-worried execs aren't saying yet. But I'll bet my own personal sunburst nipple ring it won't be truly "live."

Saturday Night Live has also snagged Ben Affleck to host March 13th. I'm pretty sure J-Lo WON'T be the musical guest…

Martha Stewart is guilty--that's the verdict today from the Manhattan jury considering her case. The domestic diva faces a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine for each of the four counts in her stock fraud trial.

Omarosa finally got the ax on last night's The Apprentice. Meanwhile on Survivor: All-Stars, Wisconsin's Sue Hawk became the second player to voluntarily remove herself from the game.

Andre 3000 is throwin' his support behind "Declare Yourself," a campaign to get young people to vote in this year's election. The Outkast wildman says he's registered and ready to vote for the first time in his life. Who does he support? We don't know. Maybe an "awright, awright, awright-in candidate."

Hairspray--the hit Broadway musical based on the John Waters movie--will be remade into a into a movie based on the Broadway musical.

Usher's Yeah! is the number single in the country for the third straight week. The Ush-man's CD Confessions hits stores March 23rd.

Animated band: Simple Plan will "appear" in 'toon-form on the March 22nd episode of the WB's Scooby Doo. I don't claim to be an expert... but the "ghost" is actually the weird, old dude in disguise (and he woulda gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddlin' teens!).

Lenny Kravitz is back with new music. A new song called Where Are We Running? arrives at radio stations March 29th. The upcoming album is called Baptism and features Jay-Z on one track.

The Sopranos returns Sunday night for its long-awaited fifth season. Someone who's seen the first four episodes says fans won't be disappointed--and that since Tony Soprano's a single man now, expect his relationship with his therapist, Dr. Melfi, to heat up.

Does Ellen DeGeneres have a new gal-pal named "Emmy." Congrats to the rookie daytime talk show host, who just picked up 12 Daytime Emmy Award nominations. Winners will be announced May 21st.

Norah Jones is the musical guest on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

Now playing: Starsky & Hutch (Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg); Hildalgo, (Viggo Mortensen).

--Greg Valentine

You're Hired: NBC says they've signed Donald Trump to do at least two more editions of The Apprentice. Think you got what it takes? They're currently casting for the second installment.

Update your resumes: The Sopranos returns Sunday and online bookmakers give Tony Soprano-rival Johnny Sack 3-1 odds of being the first character to be whacked this season. Little Carmine, a Sack associate, is listed at 7-2 odds, and Christopher Maltisanti's informant fiancée Adriana at 4-1 odds.

Two members of Beyonce's back-up band thwarted a would-be carjacker in Palm Beach, Florida by apprehending and detaining the bad guy for police. The scumbag had pulled a knife on a 91-year-old man and was about to rip off grandpa's wheels.

Out of sync: "We'd love to go on tour, but Justin doesn't want to do a reunion," says *NSYNC's Chris Kirkpatrick about group mate Justin Timberlake. "Although, after that whole nipple situation, maybe he should."

Rumor has it Janet Jackson will follow up her "Superboob" performance by hosting and singing on Saturday Night Live April 10th. It's a cinch to give the show a lift in the ratings.

In love: Supermodel Heidi Klum and singer Seal are a thing.

Hot newbie: Rapper/producer Kanye West's CD The College Dropout has been the number two album in the country (behind Norah Jones) for the last three weeks.

The Calling will release their sophomore album, Two, June 8th. Here's some more info from Alex Band and Aaron Kamin, the two members of the group that haven't quit since the first album.

"There's a lot of cute guys here. Who knows? Maybe if you're really lucky, I might marry you." No, it's not a quote from a judge at the courthouse in San Francisco... it's a "joke" Britney Spears made at her concert tour opener Tuesday night.

Mya performs tonight on Leno--Sting's on the Letterman show.

--Greg Valentine

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004

If Britney Spears is mirroring her career after that of Madonna's, it looks like she's entering her Erotica phase. Brit's Onyx Hotel Tour kicked off last night in San Diego. Here's what MTV.com has to say.

Spider-Man 2 doesn't even hit theaters until July, and plans are already underway for a third installment starring Tobey McGuire as the comic book hero. Gotta give props to Tobey for job longevity--there were three different Batmans in the four big screen flicks.

UPN is hookin' up with Missy Elliot for an American Idol-like competition to find the next big time rapper. Missy will take the contestants on tour with her.

More boob fallout: Disney World has removed a life-sized statue of Mickey Mouse dressed as Janet Jackson from its theme park because of the singer's controversial Superbowl performance. Okay… but who's the twisted individual at Disney forcing Mickey cross-dress in the first place?

Barry Manilow is confirmed, and Paul McCartney and Elton John are rumored to be set as celebrity judges for American Idol next month.

Clay Aiken's biological father passed away last week, and the singer skipped his funeral Tuesday. Clay's been very outspoken about his estranged relationship with Vernon Grissom, who he calls his "sperm donor." Grissom separated from Clay's mother when the future Idol runner-up was one.

Clay Aiken sits down with the ladies of The View tomorrow.

In other Idol chat, Kelly Clarkson says her next album should be out before the holidays. She says the sound is "more into the rock." Clarkson co-wrote some tracks with former Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody.

Beethoven is his dawg: Outkast's Andre 3000 says he wants to go to Julliard and study classical music.

Hendrix is his hero: Andre 3000 is thisclose to signing on the play guitar-legend Jimi Hendrix in a biopic directed by the Hughes Brothers.

All that, and Andre 3000 says Outkast will release a follow-up to Love Below/Speakerboxxx this year, squashing rumors that the duo's planning to split.

Avril Lavigne has lined up several TV appearances in May to promote her upcoming album. She's set to perform on the Today Show, Letterman, Regis & Kelly and Ellen.

Feels Like Home, indeed! Norah Jones stays warm and cozy in the top spot on the Billboard album charts. Feels Like Home remains number one for the third straight week.

--Greg Valentine

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004

Based on his singing, that William Hung dude is probably a pretty good… engineering student, right? Actually, the American Idol reject and cultural phenomenon told Ryan Seacrest on last night's special edition of Idol that he's struggling with his studies and most things in life.

That said, William Hung still has more of a career than Justin Guarini!

CBS will air the Survivor: All-Stars finale live from New York City's famous Madison Square Garden on May 9th.

Larissa picked hot dude Gil over average-looking Brian last night on Average Joe: Hawaii. She then told him she used to date Fabio, and he dumped her! Is this one still a reality show, or is it being scripted by the writers from Passions?

Britney Spears' Onyx Hotel Tour kicks off tonight in San Diego, the first of 25 North American cities she'll visit. Showtime airs her Miami concert March 28th. Yeah, she used to do 'em for HBO. (Then again, she was also married to a guy for 55 hours…)

Avril Lavigne is heading out on a mini-tour sponsored by AOL. Details here.

Court papers indicate the telephone records were among the items seized by police at the Neverland Ranch. Yeah, it doesn't look good for Michael Jackson--his "cell phone" is one of those baby monitors!

Expect a new album from Sheryl Crow by the first of the year, so says the artiste herself. She recently posted this dispatch on her official website.

And they can write it off on their taxes! R.E.M. has been recording a new album in the Bahamas.

Beyonce's little sis, 17-year-old Solange Knowles, tied the knot with college football player Daniel Smith in the Bahamas over the weekend. Big sis and Destiny's Child group member Kelly Rowland attended the ceremony.

New albums out today to download on the Internet… er, I mean buy in the store: Cee-Lo Green, Cee-Lo Green is the Soul Machine; Hootie & the Blowfish The Best Of Hootie & The Blowfish (1993 Thru 2003).

Jon Bon Jovi turns 42 today. That's 42 years of having more fun in one day than you or I will in a lifetime. (Jealous, me? How could you tell?)

Jessica Simpson performs on the Late Show with David Letterman tonight--if she can find "New York City."

--Greg Valentine

Monday, March 1st, 2004

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King made a clean sweep at the 76th Annual Academy Awards Sunday, winning Best Picture and all 11 categories for which it was
nominated, tying Titanic and Ben-Hur for the most all-time wins.

Personally, I feel bad for the ONE dude in New Zealand who wasn't thanked during the endless parade of LOTR mega-geek speeches!

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron were named best actor and actress respectively (although that Charlize character could of almost qualified in the either category).

We gotta hobbit: Ratings for the Academy Awards were up big over last year's broadcast, attracting 87 million eyeballs. That's 43.5 million people for the silly phrasing-impaired.

Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ has earned $117.5 million since it opening Wednesday, the biggest February movie debut ever.

The annual Golden Raspberry Awards were handed out Saturday, "honoring" the worst movies. The only additional word you need to know about this story: Gigli.

Justin Timberlake has dropped plans to co-host the upcoming Motown 45 TV special, due to filming conflicts with his first movie, Edison, which stars Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey.

That's super, man: Super Millionaire will be back for a week in May, after a successful run last week. The newly amped-up game show hosted by Regis Philbin averaged 14 million viewers a night.

Sixpence No More: Leigh Nash and Matt Slocum have announced their group Sixpence None The Richer is calling it quits. Nash, the singer of the group's hits "Kiss Me" and "There She Goes," recently had a baby and wants to devote time to her family.

Jessica Simpson could play the Daisy Duke character in the planned Dukes of Hazzard movie. Quote from Jessica that I'm making up, but seems about right: "Isn't weird how she always wore dazzey dukes, and how her name was Daisy Duke?"

Michael Jackson was seen shopping at a Wal-Mart in Colorado wearing a ski mask. Shopping? Sounds like he was gonna knock the place over.

William Hung, the "She Bangs" guy who auditioned for American Idol unsuccessfully and has since become a cultural phenomenon, is featured tonight on FOX during an hour-long special, American Idol: Uncut, Uncensored and Untalented.

--Greg Valentine

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